How do you deal with depression? How does it creep up on you? While the causes vary from person to person, it is certainly no argument that depression is a bad mental state to be in. Personally, I feel one of the reasons that depression happens is that there is a great disconnect between reality and expectation. And this gulf – and thinking about it constantly – is one of the reasons people get depressed.
One problem is that society builds us up to think that things should be rosy and ideal. We have sayings like “the world is your oyster”, we talk about loving your work and doing the things you enjoy as a career, and generally promote the that disconnect. For many people, especially young people, there are many things they would like to do – such as to travel, to work less, to enjoy life – but unfortunately reality and rising house prices means that they often have to do the opposite. We are often told that education improves your job prospects, yet the current market means that not only do you get deep in debt with a degree, but the lack of availability of jobs means that your degree not only does not count for much, but may work against you because you are overqualified.
And for many people, one of their rosy expectations of life is to be a blogger, one who earns money by writing, while going on holiday, living the dream by surfing. Unfortunately, like every other job, probably a small minority can manage that, while for the rest of us the income from that is unsustainable. But we are led to think this is possible, and by whom? Usually by those who have hidden agendas and can benefit from leading us down such paths – the travel industry, and the travel bloggers themselves (who usually make income by selling you ‘How I Made It as a Travel Blogger’ courses).
In my younger days I used to think I wanted to make a living from writing, and got hooked into the make a living from writing scene. The problem I found was that writers usually were trying to sell me courses, with actually no means of guaranteeing I would be successful or be able to make it as a career based on that. And the longer I got drawn into it, the longer I realised this was unsustainable and I would have to stop in order to prevent myself from harm.
It is my view that one of the initial causes of depression is the disconnect between practicality and dream. And dwelling on that, trying to resolve two impossible ends, is what sends the mind into overdrive and long term unhappiness.
What can you do if you are actively depressed? One of the things you can do is to change your environment. Do something to shake yourself out of the doldrums. Better yet, my suggestion is to do something different that involves physical activity. Why is that so? Because this helps your mind and body realign. You learn on a subconscious level how to realign the ideal and the practical together. For example, if you go for a run, you may initially run out of breath if you are going too fast because you haven’t paced yourself. Doing something physically active bleeds off the mental stress, and also helps you to understand what you want to do and how you have to take it slowly in stages. Physically activity is a great help in dealing with depression.
Did you know Martin Luther (the monk, not the civil rights activist) suffered from depression? He apparently conquered it by working on his garden, calming his mind through the activity. And perhaps one of the best suggestions is to do the task you least enjoy. You may find like many of us that depression arises often out of task avoidance too, of neglecting to do the things you need to do, and …. thinking too much of them.
Thought for the day: Do some physical activity. Bridge that mental disconnect.
And if you are feeling depressed, you can always try speaking to a counsellor, or ringing the Samaritans. It always helps to talk to a real person and get a sense of perspective instead of listening to the same thoughts over and over again in your head.